Sex and the city speed dating scene
I was going to try my hand on the dating scene, and have a go at a few tried and trusted methods so I could write about them for Left Lion. Signing up to a dating site is scary; I worried that I’d know at least twenty percent of the people on there, Nottingham being the small, intimate place that it is.Luckily, there were only two, one of whom knew what I was up to. Choosing the right username was harder than I thought. Would a pic of me on a night out give out the best signals? Then there’s the profile blurb; I went for some vague waffle about my job, books and films, whereas my friend (who joined me in my online dating foray) just listed one-word answers.I have realized I have all the mating skills of a giant panda.At this rate, I’ll be put into captivity to stop my species dying out and assigned a keeper to lift me on to sexual partners.After your folks have harped on all Christmas about when you are going to settle down and have mini replicas of you, comes Valentine’s Day: the annual reminder that you’re all alone with no one to have lazy nights in front of the telly with. After all, we live in an actual city with over 300,000 people rattling about in it; surely it can’t be that hard to find someone suitable in Nottingham?With that in mind, I decided to have a serious go at goading the fat, creepy flying kid in a nappy to fire a sharp object at me. Online Dating Even now, dating over the internet has a stigma attached to it, throwing up images of guys in a box room, playing World of Warcraft with one hand and doing God knows what else with the other.In more than 1,100 posts, I’ve shared many of my defining moments in life and love. One of the questions I’m most often asked is – As I like to think this blog has shown, a writer never runs out of things to talk about.
In two hours of daft five-minute chats, I easily quadruple my year’s tally of romantic encounters. Two weeks later I return and again I am completely unsuccessful. As I step into the next event, the organizers take me to one side and tell me I can attend for free.
Fortunately, given the lack of human contact involved, it doesn’t even feel like a rejection. We order some wine and quickly realize that we share almost exactly the same interests: I like cooking, she likes cooking. I like trying to beat my high score on Tetris, she…
After meeting an amazing woman at my own party and letting her slip through my fingers, I resolved to start dating and not stop until I had a girlfriend. Don’t set yourself unrealistic targets Weirdly, two weeks after signing up to Guardian Soulmates, I haven’t received a single reply. ’ And so, one week later, I find myself on a blind date.
As I was about to discover when I plunged into the pool of potential paramours, words don’t really matter in the world of online dating.
A word of advice for males with dating profiles, if I may. Also posting a photo of your dick, covered only by your tiny banana hammock, will not find you a woman.